My Immortal
by Kisa Kaiba
Summary: [Complete] Susumu mourns more after Ayumu's death and remembering and wishing she were still alive. [In memory of Yamazaki Ayumu]


This is my first Peace Maker Kurogane fic. I love the serious [of what I've seen] and I had to write a fic. It's a one-shot song-fic to Evanescence's 'My Immortal'.

This fic is about Susumu, a few days after his sister's death…

* * *

Susumu walked down the street; head down looking at the ground as he walked…

His hair is down and his face. There was no expression on his pale face at all… But, in his sorrowful dark eyes you see the real sadness that he felt… of his sister's death…

All he could think of was – his sister and how they grew up together…

'I wish that I could have saved her… I can't take it here alone… And even though she's gone… I still see her. I see her everywhere…'

.......................................

_I'm so tired or being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

_Because your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

..............................................

He looked up and saw some familiar faces… Nagakura Shinpachi, Toudou Heisuke, and Harada Sanosuke.

All three of them looked at Susumu, and smiled… Susumu walked right past them, without even looking at them…

And behind Susumu, Shinpachi turned and faced his two friends and told them, "Did you two forget? His sister died…"

"Oh, yeah…" Sanosuke said, changing his smile to a frown.

Susumu didn't even act like he heard them, but he did… but he didn't actually care.

'I wish that I was with her… With the one that seemed to care about me the most… but there's nothing I can do to be with her; except to die…'

Though, he knew that he wasn't going to resort to that…

..............................

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just to much that time cannot erase _

.............................

He looked back in his memories he had with her…

The times that when he was in trouble, and she'd help him. And when she was in trouble he'd help her.

How they helped each other out when one was sad or in trouble…

......................................

_When you cried I'd wipe all away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I've held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have all of me_

........................................

He remembered the days they were happy… When his sister would smile. It always made him a little happier when she did.

He looked around – and there she was… though he knew it actually wasn't her… It was just him imagining her there; still alive.

He hadn't got any sleep since he knew she was dead… because every time he would try to sleep, he would dream about her death…

And every time he saw her dead he felt angry… And every time he heard her voice he would break down – and almost cry…

..................................

_You used to captivate me _

_By your resonating light_

_But now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

_You face it haunts my once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

...................................

Though, he wasn't hurt physically, the pain inside hurt the most…

And even time alone, wouldn't help…

.................................

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just to much that time cannot erase_

..............................

He looked down at the ground again… though it was like he hadn't…

'I wish that I could have helped her… like I did when we were younger… And we would be there for each other… but – even though your gone – maybe you'll think the same…'

.....................

_When you cried I'd wipe all away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I've held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have all of me_

..............................

'Each day I see her…. It makes me think she's alive… but she's not… '

He closed his eyes, but reopened them soon after…

'But, I know… that she'll always be with me… Even if I'm alone forever...'

...................................

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_And though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_

......................................

He heard footsteps behind him, and he stopped walking…

"Yamazaki, Susumu…" said the familiar voice, of Okita.

He turned around a bit, acknowledging his name being called... And there stood, Ichimura Tetsunosuke, and Okita Souji….

They didn't say anything… they just stood there for a moment…

Tetsu looked up into Susumu's eyes and said, " - I'm sorry…"

Susumu didn't say anything back… he just stood there… thinking about those two words… looking down again..

"She was a good person…" Okita added, but that's all that was said before it went silent again…

The silence was going on for moments… And still not a word…

Susumu looked up at them again and said, "Thank you…." He smiled, a very small smile… but Okita and Tetsu understood that it was one… And they simply smiled back…

* * *

I hope you liked my first Peace Maker fic. Please review and tell me what you think. I'd really appreciate it.

_....This fic is in memory of Yamazaki Ayumu, Susumu's older sister....._


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